


Myrtle Trees

by cosmogyral



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Fluff, Gen, purimgifts 2009
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-09
Updated: 2009-03-09
Packaged: 2017-10-02 06:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogyral/pseuds/cosmogyral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teyla upside-down in a tree.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Myrtle Trees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quasiradiant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quasiradiant/gifts).



> Originally written for Purim Gifts 2009, as a gift for quasiradiant.

Teyla is not entirely sure how this happened, how she has ended up upside down in a tree, but she is not occupied with tracing this mess back to its origins; she is occupied with the issue of why, exactly, this is not the first time she has been upside down in a tree this week. She can easily picture Rodney's reaction to this mess: "you'd think it'd be a matter of statistics," or "simple probability," or some other phrase that translates poorly to Athosian but that makes Ronon snort and John roll his eyes. But it's just Teyla in this tree and she has no time to think about anything more complex than the strength of the ropes that are holding her left foot and making all the blood rush to her head.

She closes her eyes, and says, "Advisor Parma, it is a courtesy to tell your captives that you are watching them."

There's a cough from a nearby tree that he tries to conceal as the noise of a frog and she mentally chalks another mark against him. He really is innocent of even the most basic notions of diplomacy, or rather all but the most basic notion of diplomacy: gain as much power for yourself as you possibly can, then keep it from anyone else. She imagines, unkindly, Sam Carter's expression when confronted with Advisor Parma. Before she calls the Wraith by thinking of their Queen, she adds, "Advisor Parma, I really do advise you to step forward."

The man comes out from behind the tree. He's dressed in black, for heaven's sake; he's about as subtle as the Marines. "It's a shame you noticed me," he says, with impressive bluster. "But then, I suppose that your death in silence would be less satisfying."

"I'm sure that is so," Teyla says, kindly. She clasps her hands together in a gesture of friendship. "Advisor Parma. If you let me down from this tree, I will be sure to give you safe passage through the ring of the ancestors."

"Ancestors be rotted," Advisor Parma says, officially making himself a cliché. "Why should I take your offer?"

"Well," says John, carefully cocking his gun, "there's always self-preservation."

As Parma gapes, Teyla bends herself up to undo her own knots. She grabs hold of the rope; lets herself drop to the forest floor. "Thank you, John," Teyla says. "I do not see why it was necessary for me to be the bait."

"Because no one knows you like we do," John says, grinning a little. "Anyway, Ronon says that's how he stretches."

"Ronon," Teyla says, with asperity, "is occasionally a very great liar."

But she smiles back.


End file.
